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Iapos;m becoming more and more cynical, sarcastic and just flat-out mean. And the thing is, Iapos;m aware that I sound like a bitch, but I still say it. Maybe itapos;s just senioritis, apathy setting in, not caring what anyone thinks of me. Or just me feeling the need to say what everyone else is thinking, instead of just saying, "Oh everything is great, weapos;re all great, wahoo". Like this play tonight that everyone was like, "Itapos;s soooo good"�which makes other people say that itapos;s "sooo good" because they canapos;t form their own opinions. The first scene was terrible. I donapos;t even understand the point of it. At all.�The scene where the sisters are fighting was stupid; ending it with "I HATE YOU" like a little brat was ridiculous. I know I came off as sitting there sulking and just not enjoying myself, but itapos;s hard to enjoy yourself while trying to understand what the point of something is. Maybe Iapos;m just becoming more opinonated. Mostly itapos;s me just not liking people anymore. I donapos;t care for them. At the end, when all the actors came into the lobby and it was loud and people were screaming and shouting, I didnapos;t care to be there. I just walked out despite Yoavapos;s comments of wanting to give me a ride home, which would involve waiting for Eichner to finish being one of the loud people. Iapos;m just a bitch now. A mean, mean bitch. That cares about no one. No longer even tries to pretend to be happy or to care. If Iapos;m not interested, I donapos;t fake it anymore, I just space out completely. Crap. I wish I were a "nice" person.

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You have no idea how true it is.

Oh, well Iapos;m going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
Iapos;m not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I donapos;t regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.
I said these places and these faces are getting old,
So Iapos;m going home.
Iapos;m going home.

So yeah.� Thatapos;s about all for today.� Iapos;m just so glad to where I�am right now.� And that hasnapos;t happened to me for quite a while, so Iapos;m going to enjoy it while I can :)

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In fact, as odd as it may sound. I think I already have what I expected with relationships, at best.

I always hoped to find "her", and that was it. You know, "the one". And, Akiapos;s the only woman where I really thought "I want to have children with you". First time. Ever. Never before has that happened. So basically, I have what I really wanted. I know "she" exists. I know "she" is real. Even better, I know who "she" is.

Okay, so it might not work out with Aki. Chances that sheapos;ll marry another guy one day are pretty high. But thatapos;s okay. Because I know it wonapos;t change a damn thing. And Iapos;ve made a promise. Iapos;ll never abandon her. Whenever she needs me, Iapos;ll be there. If I canapos;t be her husband and father of her children, I can, at least, be her 100 loyal friend whoapos;ll never let her down. Case closed. Good bye. The end.

Right now, when I look at next year, I have to say... Anything is possible. It could work out perfectly, even with her. Or it could totally bomb. Anything goes. The future is totally and 100 in motion and frankly, thatapos;s good.

Nothing is set in stone.

Nothing is written.

I like that.
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Iapos;m going to go back on counting and restriction. Sometimes when I try to fast, I ruin it by picking at foods and then I donapos;t know how many calories Iapos;m eating at the time. I feel that I have more control when I restrict, but I donapos;t have enough self-control to fast effectively. So that is my decision for now, perhaps it will change in the future though with some kind of one-day fast per week, but not yet. Iapos;m thinking of saving that plan for when I reach a massive plateau in my weight loss.

Somebody brought in donuts for the class so I had a huge calorie spike today. I ate two of them Dun dun dunnnn However, it still seems that I have lost some weight. My current weight range is somewhere between 100-103 lbs, but this will not be documented because I donapos;t know if these numbers have fully stabilized. I donapos;t want to be disappointed by a fluke so Iapos;ll wait and see.

My brother is visiting tomorrow. Weapos;re going to have McDonaldapos;s again for break/lunch again, I know it.. I sense a disturbance in the force XP

Currently Watching: Code Geass - Season 2 - Episode 9 - 0 calories

Total Calories - ???? calories

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Obama says he wants to cut taxes on around 95 of Americans -- i.e. Those making less than $250,000 a year.

The conservative talking-point response is "95 of Americans donapos;t pay taxes THEY GET REFUNDS ANYWAY"

If you really believe this argument, bring out your last pay stub for me please. Humor me; just do it.

Now. Look near the top, as I believe thatapos;s where the Gross Pay figure is usually located. See that? Okay. Now read down with me. Say, what are those things being subtracted from my gross pay?

Why... Arenapos;t they taxes? You mean those things that 95 of Americans donapos;t pay? Oh my god, they are

Repeat after me: "net pay is less than gross pay because of taxes. All Americans pay them."

Now, if you mean come tax time at the beginning of the year (January to April)... You might be right, then. But then, generally refunds come about because the taxpayer has paid too much in taxes. This is how our tax system works.

Therefore If we are talking about the "redistribution of wealth" of, say, Joe the Plumber (what a shitty name), we must take a few things into account:

- It is easier for Joe the Plumber to pay high taxes than, say, Bob the Hobo, Steve the Janitor, or Harry the Delivery Guy. If he has more money, chances are you can extract more money. Relying on sheer volume of people doesnapos;t work quite as well as both volume of people and amount of money. Mathematically, you will get more money by taxing 5 $250,000 a year people than from 20 $20,000 a year people, based on sheer "gross pay" alone.

- As for "redistribution": well, youapos;ve increased taxes on the wealthy and decreased/given to the less fortunate. I suppose that does fit under the definition of redistribution, but itapos;s not such a direct thing, more like an indirect side effect of two separate practices. If that is their intention, however, more power to them; a larger amount of people with more money will stimulate the economy more than a few ridiculously wealthy folks who will probably either hold onto the money or be really, really stingy with it. Trickle-up sounds physics-defying but works infinitely better than trickle-down. You saturate the middle ground, and that will rise up by saturating the markets and buying places with money, allowing the money to get right back to the "higher-ups" as it were.

However, I am not an economist. This just seems like it would make the most sense. :/

Besides, tax hikes are near-inevitable because of our Billion Dollar Bailout. Obamaapos;s (ostensibly) trying to keep the bailout as a rich manapos;s problem (when it was rich men who created the problem to begin with -- why put it on the backs of the middle class?), while helping out everyone else. I donapos;t know how many people see that, though.

Ah well. Iapos;m slow and decided to type it all out. Later.

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not that i did not hear.
but i tried hard not to.
or at the very least pretend that iapos;m not listening.

it drives me nuts actually.
to keep it all under wrap.
to not make a claim.

while some other tries hard to take away.

still, i refuse.
for iapos;m hopeless
like that.

i do not put up a fight.
i will not even compete.

iapos;ll just take my leave quietly.

so please, stop noticing.
pls just ignore me.
pls let me.

�

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SUP POLY. My nameapos;s Sarah, and Iapos;m new1 ...but technically not a stranger; I played a character from a minor fandom here a while ago, but didnapos;t end up sticking around for very long. Second timeapos;s the charm, rite? 8)

Anyway, Iapos;m bringing in Hero Brown, the ex-cult member cowgirl with issues from the fabulous comic Y: The Last Man. Like the title suggests, itapos;s all about the last man on earth -- so Hero will be arriving in the City after five years with next to no contact with any men. Needless to say sheapos;ll be a bit surprised by what a sausage fest it is. Donapos;t mind her, sheapos;s still recovering from her time spent with the Daughters of the Amazon and their extreme anti-male brainwashing. :c

Contact info is listed in the profile, aaand I think thatapos;s everything. :o Since my timezone is a bit wacky, Iapos;ll probably get myself reacquainted with everything and intro Hero tomorrow. Looking forward to playing with you all hearts;

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Well, official as long as I pass the drug test and background tests.
So, knowing how much I do those things, Yeah, Iapos;m hired.

Dick Clarkapos;s Restaurant in Sky Harbour, terminal 3, 2pm - 1030pm.
I donapos;t know what position, probably grill or fry.
$9/hour, set schedule for 6 months, with either Tues/Wed off or Wed/Thurs.

The menu is pretty simple.
Nothing grandiose, just burgers and fried appetizers with occasional grill work.
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Mondays and Wednesdays are very chill days. Class in the early morning, class at night. I have the whole day for the taking. What did I do today? Well after recreating the ending Fight Club scene on the Morrison wall, I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (made by a friend and cut in half diagonally), I did the dishes and vacuumed the hallway, I downloaded the new Copeland album, and now I think Iapos;m going to rearrange my room. Itapos;s gawd-awful dirty and just needs change. Thus, I will change.

My priorities have been all over the place as of late. Itapos;s not bad time management, no. Iapos;ve made a nasty habit in my life of putting friends before family/living mates. It needs to change. Thus, I will change.

I have an abundance of dirty laundry. Thatapos;s normally something of which having an abundance of isnapos;t celebrated.... Thus, I will change.



I could go for some mushrooms,
Koolaid, J-Pimpin, Number One, Jul, Sa, Sahx, Sa-Anator, RahRah
Sarah.

P.S. I love it when Copeland uses a small brass ensemble in their songs.

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